1. Subway Face-Off: Team A tries to get out of a subway train carriage while Team B tries to get in.
2. Synchronized Smoking: 20 Marlboro in 20 minutes. Korea and Japan are tipped for the gold and silver medals in this one.
3. Moderated Karaoke: An audience of singers and musicians will judge this, their brains wired to a cringe-o-meter.
4. Noodle Slurp: The award goes to whoever can down the longest noodle with a single slurp, no hands.
5. Road Racer: This is a car racing sport with drivers having to swerve around bullock carts, tri-shaw pile-ups and massed platoons of terminally deaf scooter riders.
6. Toilet Gymnastics: Contestants have to use a traditional Asian squat toilet, a Western-style throne toilet and a hi-tech Japanese toilet one after another. Not easy.
7. Chopstick Lunge: Four pork buns in the basket, five diners, ready-steady-go.
8. Elevator Leap: Team A has to close the lift doors before Team B reaches them.
9. Democracy Demand: Each team has to organize a demonstration to ask for political reform in their country. (Most Asian citizens are well-practiced losers in this game.)
10. Chilli Chew-Off: Teams eat red-hot peppers in relay form, finishing with those tiny green blow-your-head-off ones from Thailand. Medal for anyone who survives.
***You have forgotten 2:
1. The longest and loudest throat clearing competition
2. the furtherest snot / spit launching event
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